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Horrible Histories | Live Onboard! | Terrible Thames

Horrible Histories proudly presents a wicked new tour of the Terrible Thames!

So climb aboard and prepare to hear the horrible history of the most famous river in the world!

Tremble in terror at the Tower! Sizzle at the Savoy! Give Cleopatra the needle! Be washed away at Westminster! Lose yourself in Lambeth! Get gobsmacked by the Globe! Hold onto your head at London Bridge and escape from Execution Dock!

Take a dive with Horrible Histories into the stories of King Henry VIII, Anne Boleyn, Julius Caesar, the Duke of Wellington, Queen Boudicca, Jack the Ripper and Captain Kidd, in this history of the Thames with the nasty bits left in!

tweeting by royal order

Follow us @terriblethames

Plan Your Visit


Tickets and Gift vouchers for 2022 now onsale


Adult –  £22.00 (off-peak) £25.00 (peak)

Senior – £20.00 (off-peak) £23.00 (peak)

Child – £14.00 (off-peak) £15.00 (peak)

Under 3’s – FREE

FAMILY TICKET – £65.00 (off-peak) £72.00 (peak) – 2 Adults and 2 Children or 1 Adult and 3 Children

There is an additional charge for booking on the day, please see our FAQ page for more information.


Group 8+ – £12.50 per child and 1 teacher goes free for every 10 children

Schools £10.00 per child if booked by 28 February 2022


Adult £20.00 and Child £12.00 – Available by emailing

Tower Bridge Quay

Previously St. Katharine's Pier - Next to Tower Bridge

Tower Bridge Quay is situated on the north bank of the Thames, on the east side of Tower Bridge, and immediately in front of the Tower Hotel. The pier is approx. 10 minutes walk from Tower Hill Underground station. Our postcode is E1Q 1LD.


what3words is an easy way to find and share exact locations, every 3 metre square has their own unique 3 word identifier. curiosity.pirate.rides is the unique 3 words for our location at Tower Bridge Quay.

Nearest station Tower Hill

BUS ROUTES – 15, 100


Birmingham Stage Company and Woods Silver Fleet are dedicated to improving the accessibility for all visitors to this new experience and ask that any assisted wheelchair access that is required is booked in advance.

For our full and detailed information document on accessibility for our tour please CLICK HERE

If you would like to notify us in advance of any access requirements on the day of your visit please email

If your query is about a booking you have made via our website please contact

The Team

Horrible Histories – Terrible Thames Tour is a new venture from award-winning theatre producers Birmingham Stage Company and Woods’ Silver Fleet, a family-run company of Thames Watermen since 1866.

Together they are bringing together their extensive experience of performance and river sightseeing tours to create an experience like no other.

The team

Producers – Birmingham Stage Company and Woods Silver Fleet

Writers – Terry Deary and Neal Foster

Director – Neal Foster

Design – Jackie Trousdale

Sound – Nick Sagar

Boat design, management and crewing – Woods’ Silver Fleet

Production Manager – Adrian Littlejohns

Marketing, Advertising and Social Media  – Natalie Yalden and Rona Kelly for Tandem Marketing Worldwide

Press Relations – Warren Higgins, Chuff Media

Sales and Ticketing Director – Tommy Luck for Ticketing Consultancy Network 

Concept Design – Feast Creative

Horrible Histories books are published by Scholastic Ltd. Horrible Histories is a trademark of Scholastic Inc. and is used under authorisation. All rights reserved. Illustration © Martin Brown.



What measures are in place for COVID 19 protection?

Our boat has been awarded Visit Britain’s ‘Good to Go’ certification. ‘Good to Go’ reassures visitors that appropriate Covid-19 Secure processes are in place and as a business we are ‘good to go’.
For more information –

We have implemented the Government’s Covid-19 reopening guidance and understood Public Health England advice, carried out a Covid-19 risk assessment and that we’re always alerted to any change in Government Covid-19 guidelines.

To summarise:
We have enhanced cleaning measures in place particularly where high touch point areas are concerned.

We have hand sanitiser available on both decks aboard the vessel.

Should you have symptoms of Covid-19 as per government guidance, please do not travel.

Rest assured, we will be closely following current government guidance at all times.

Will I be dropped off where I boarded?

The tour is a round-trip and you will disembark at Tower Bridge Quay where you joined the trip.

How long is the boat trip?

The boat trip will last 40-45 minutes.

What are the ticket prices if we book on the day?

On the day tickets prices are as follows:

Peak: Adults £27.00 Children £16.00 Senior £25.00

Off-Peak: Adults £24.00 Children £15.00 Senior £22.00

Family Package:

Peak: £78.00

Off-Peak: £70.00

Are the boats heated/air conditioned?

Our boat has heating within the interior lower deck. It does not have air conditioning as the vessel is not a new build but we have plenty of windows for fresh air.

What if it is raining on the day of our trip?

Our top deck will always be open to customers to enjoy the amazing sights of London. However in the event of rain the performers will carry out the performance on the lower interior deck, which is fully enclosed with windows so you can also enjoy the sights of London on the Terrible Thames Tour.

Are your services wheelchair accessible?

As the Terrible Thames boat is not a new build we cannot offer step free access during our first year of operation. A wheelchair lift and accessible bathroom facilities are scheduled to be installed in year two. Please email us for our detailed accessibility information document.

Does the boat have an open deck area?

Our boat has two decks. The upper deck is fully open-air with wonderful views. The lower interior deck is fully enclosed with windows to enjoy the sights on the Terrible Thames Tour.

What if I miss my tour due to transport issues?

Travelling in London can often be impacted by engineering works, strikes and other incidents on public transport that are out of our control.

Please allow as much time as possible to get to your booked tour time so you are not disappointed.

Are there toilets on board?

Gender neutral toilet facilities are available on the lower deck of the vessel.

Is there a cloakroom on board?

We do not have cloakroom facilities for the Terrible Thames cruise.
There is an allocated space to store items such as prams/pushchairs and scooters on the lower deck only. These items are not permitted on the upper deck.

Which pier does the Terrible Thames Tour sail from?

Our scheduled Terrible Thames cruise operates from Tower Bridge Quay (formerly St Katharine Pier) on the north bank of the Thames, east of Tower Bridge (in front of the Tower Hotel. Postcode – E1W 1LD. The pier is approximately 10 minutes walk from Tower Hill Underground Station.

Is there shelter on the pier?

There is no covered shelter on Tower Bridge Quay so please ensure you have appropriate attire to deal with the sometimes unpredictable English weather!

Will I get to see Horrible Histories characters onboard?

The tour is conducted by two actors, but unlike the Horrible Histories stage shows, they do not change into historical characters when telling the stories.

Will the characters be in costume?

You will be meeting two characters on board the boat but unlike the Horrible Histories stage shows, the fast speed of the journey through constantly changing historical periods means the characters do not change into historical costumes

How long in advance should I arrive at the pier?

We have a limited embark and disembark period for each Terrible Thames cruise. You should arrive in good time in order to board the vessel promptly at the time on your ticket. If you are buying tickets at the ticket office, please allow some extra time to purchase.

Is food and drink available to purchase?

We are working on exciting plans to introduce food and drink, so watch this space, but until then you are able to bring your own snacks and drinks onboard.

Where can I park nearby?

The closest car parks near Tower Bridge Quay are City Quay Car Park, E1W 1AE or London Thomas More Square, E1W 1YU. Online booking in advance is recommended. Just Park also has available spaces online in the immediate area of the pier which can be pre-booked online for your desired date.

Is there an age restriction?

All ages are welcome, but children under the age of 15 must be accompanied by an adult on board. Children aged 0-3 go free, if seated on the lap of a parent or guardian. However, please note the tour is best suited for children aged 5 and above.

How long are the queues to board on the day?

We cannot predict passenger numbers for each cruise and length of queues will vary according to how busy each cruise is. However, boarding is swift and our host will be on site to assist whilst you are waiting to board the boat.

Do you check bags?

For security purposes we may from time to time undertake random bag searches or checks. This is done for the security of our passengers, crew and performers.

Are bikes allowed on-board?

We don’t allow bikes on board, although kids’ scooters are permitted and can be stored on the lower deck.

How long is the cruise?

40 – 45 enthralling minutes!

I want to bring my dog on board with me - is this possible?

Guide Dogs are allowed on all Terrible Thames cruises at the Captain’s discretion. We ask you to contact the reservations team to book your ticket in advance. Please see our accessibility statement for more information and inform of your booking.

I lost something on board? Who shall I contact?

If you think you have lost an item of property aboard the vessel, you should notify the customer services department at Please provide full descriptive details of your item, details of when and where it was lost, and full contact information so that we can get back in touch. Terrible Thames cannot accept responsibility for any items that may have been lost on board.

Terms and Conditions

Terms and conditions are subject to the provider you have booked your ticket with. If your ticket was purchased via our official website, terms and conditions can be found at the bottom of your ticket PDF or full terms can be found on the See Tickets website at


Can I buy my tickets online?

Yes, you can purchase all our ticket types on the Terrible Thames Website

What is your refund and exchange policy?

Unfortunately we cannot offer refunds or exchanges, if you’d like to cover yourself for any eventualities you can purchase ticket insurance from SEE Tickets.

However, if you have been informed that you need to self-isolate, please notify us at your earliest convenience and we will do our best to exchange your tickets.

If you test positive for Coronavirus, again, please do notify us and we will do our best to exchange your tickets.

What discounts are available to NHS staff?

If you work for the NHS you are entitled to 10% off our advertised individual ticket prices. You will be required to show your NHS staff ID when boarding the boat.

Please email for more information


Can I buy tickets on the day? Do I need to book tickets in advance?

We recommend tickets are bought in advance as ticket availability on the day is not guaranteed. However, it is not compulsory to book Terrible Thames Tour in advance. These can be purchased at our dedicated pier Tower Bridge Quay (Next to Tower Bridge) on the day of travel. We request all groups 10+ are booked in advance with the reservations department prior to travel.

Are there any fees on top of the ticket prices?

We do not charge booking fees but there is a £1.50 transaction fee that SEE Tickets apply per booking

Can I pay cash on the day?

We are currently not accepting cash bookings on the day, but you can purchase tickets at Tower Bridge Quay on the day using a debit/credit card.

Are you able to accommodate large groups?

We are able to accommodate public groups up to 120 on our boat. We ask that you book groups over 10+ directly with the customers services team at

Can I change the date and time of my booking?

Please ensure that all information is correct at the point of purchase as tickets may not always be able to be changed. For assistance, please email

Do I have to print out my ticket?

Passengers have to bring their printed ticket to board the cruise or show their ticket on a mobile device.

How do I get the tickets I booked online?

You will receive a confirmation email with a printable e-ticket attached as a PDF. Additionally, please write down your booking reference number. If you don’t receive the email or have a query about your booking, please contact your point of purchase.

Is it possible to claim a refund?

Tickets are non-refundable after purchase. If you have an extreme circumstance beyond your control, please email our customer service team at
Please check your refund policy of the company you purchased from.